My Story — and Why I Choose to Remain Anonymous

I am a mum of two daughters, aged 27 and 15.

In 2022, my 13-year relationship with my youngest daughter’s father — and my eldest daughter’s stepfather — came to an end. At the time, I could not have imagined the impact this would have on my life, or on my family.

My eldest daughter had already left home, while my youngest was still living with me. Over the following year, everything changed. I was navigating the breakdown of my relationship, overwhelming grief, heartbreak, and a difficult custody situation. During this period, I became emotionally unwell and struggled to cope.

As circumstances unfolded, my youngest daughter went to live with her father, and my eldest daughter cut off contact with me. The loss of contact with both of my children was devastating. As a mother, I felt deep shame, guilt, and heartbreak, and I withdrew from friends and everyday life. It was the most painful period I have ever experienced.

At my lowest point, I felt I had lost all hope. What changed that — what helped me hold on — was an unexpected conversation with a nurse during one of my hospital stays. She shared her own story of being estranged from her children for many years. She spoke honestly about the pain she carried, but also about how she had learned to keep going.

You would never have known her story just by looking at her. That moment mattered more than she will ever know. For the first time, I realised I was not alone — and that realisation helped me find the strength to continue.

It also made me ask a bigger question:

• How many other mums are out there silently carrying this pain?
• How many are struggling alone, ashamed, and afraid to speak?

My own situation was complex. 

I did not have a strong support network at the time, and I was also navigating unresolved family relationships of my own. Both of my daughters were encouraged, through counselling and circumstance, to set boundaries — which ultimately led to no contact. As a mother, this left me feeling powerless and broken.

This kind of pain is rarely spoken about. There is still so much silence around maternal estrangement — perhaps because it is deeply personal, and because many mums feel blamed for something they do not fully understand.

This is why I have now created 'Forget-Me-Not'.

'Forget-Me-Not' is a peer-support community for mums, created to offer understanding, compassion, and connection. It is not a replacement for professional support, but a safe space where mums can talk openly, share their experiences, and feel less alone.

Where am I now?

My eldest daughter and I have re-established limited contact and are gently rebuilding communication. I haven’t seen her in several years, but the door is no longer closed.

My youngest daughter now sees me regularly, and our relationship is slowly healing.

My situation remains very delicate.

Out of love and respect for my children — and to protect the progress we are making — I choose to remain anonymous at this time.

This is not about secrecy, but about safeguarding my family and allowing space for continued healing.

I look forward to the day when I may be able to share my name openly. Until then, my focus remains on holding space for other mums who are walking this difficult path.

You are not forgotten. And you are not alone.

'Forget-Me-Not' exists because support, understanding, and connection can make a profound difference — especially in moments when everything feels too heavy to carry by yourself.

This space was created so that no mum has to face this experience in silence.